11 Apr 2008
Played on Xbox360
If you’ve played one Katamari game, you’ve played them all. There have been some small variations on the core formula, but it hasn’t strayed too far from “roll up stuff and get big.” Which is good, because that simple thing is so entertaining. If you’ve spent a lot of hours on the PS2 Katamari games, there’s not much new to play around with in Beautiful Katamari on the Xbox 360. But if you’ve never experienced the joy of rolling up huge balls of crap, Beautiful Katamari delivers. You’ll grow from the size of a penny to be bigger than the sun, all while listening to crazy J-Pop.
Every time you roll into another size class it’s an epic moment. It’s like leveling up in an RPG and going back to squash all the baddies that gave you trouble before. It’s extremely entertaining the first time, but after you’ve seen the whole progression it does lose a little of its bite. And unfortunately you can only get so big before there’s no more content in the game for you to roll up. Actually, the more I think about it the more I realize that Katamari is an RPG.
I really enjoyed Beautiful Katamari, but I can’t help but be a bit disappointed. I’m ready for something new. Later in Beautiful Katamari you find yourself rolling up all these famous monuments from different civilizations, like Egypt or China. It’d be really fun to start out in different locales like that. They can’t really raise the size limit anymore (you’re already sucking up black holes by the end), so they way to improve the game is to add variety in the existing spectrum. Although… it could be possible to take it smaller. I could totally see Katamari at the molecular level… or cellular like Innerspace or Osmosis Jones… or rolling on the surface of a dog picking up fleas and hairs. Really, the game writes itself. Picking up sumo wrestlers is fun and all, but I think this series is ready for a scenery change.
11 Apr 2008
It seems like bad form to criticize a man’s peak performance so closely after his death. I didn’t plan it that way; the disc was already on its way back to Netflix when the news hit. And I know if I don’t write down my thoughts now I’ll have promptly forgot them a month from now. So, um, sorry for the bad timing?
Bun Hur is a widely recognized classic. It won like a bajillion Academy Awards in 1960 (more specifically, 14), including Best Actor for Mr. Heston. But let me tell you, it has not aged well. The legendary chariot scene holds up, but the rest is… meh. The characters are paper thin, Charlton Heston is the super cheese, the naval combat scene is laughably bad, and the whole thing is long and pretentious. The only reason to watch Ben Hur is to check it off your list of “movies I’m supposed to see for historical significance.” But your time is really better spent doing anything else.
The film labels itself as “a tale of the Christ.” It’s not; it’s a tale of revenge, with a bit of Jesus bolted on after the real climax of the movie. For part of the movie I thought they were going to handle the Christ thing well. I seemed like they were going to subtly interweave the story of Jesus with Ben Hur’s story to give more context to both. It could have been really thoughtful and classy. But all that goes out the window when Jesus’ death is met with stormy weather and instantly healed lepers across the land. The whole thing would have been much more interesting if there was a chance Biblical connection that was a side note in the life of Jesus (healing lepers ‘n stuff) but huge for Ben Hur. But this is not a movie of subtlety. It’s a big mess of dress up (how do those Romans get their whites so white?) and play acting. Skip it.
04 Apr 2008
Apparently I’m going against the grain in saying that Magnolia didn’t rock my world. It’s not that I didn’t like it; I enjoyed it very much, actually. But it’s fatally flawed.
High expectations always ruin movies, so I generally try to go in with as blank of a slate as possible. But Magnolia breaks this by establishing expectations in the first few minutes of the film. It tells a couple of stories of coincidence, where all the pieces fall together in some sort of sublime harmony. The feature that follows is supposed to be another such tale, but it’s not. It’s a great story, but it in no way fits into the pattern of the first couple vignettes. This breaks the entire experience. For the entirety of the film I was ready for some grand connection which never happened. The movie set my expectations and failed to meet them.
If I could ignore what the movie told me it would be about, It’d be much happier. But disappointment is hard to overcome. Which is too bad, because it really is an exceptionally well told story. The many storylines are all interesting, and the way in which they are stitched together is truly masterful. The emotion from one story stays with you as you transition to the next story, and it tints it every so appropriately. It’s as if the threads are finishing each other’s sentences. From a storytelling perspective it’s amazing, but of course that is a separate thing from the storylines being naturally connected. See, I really can’t get over it. Those initial vignettes were charming, but they’re out of place and in the end cripple the potential of this brilliant film.
Expectations are dangerous, but let me try to use their power for good. Watch this movie, but don’t expect it to go anywhere transcendent. The movie will tell you differently, but don’t listen to it. It lies!
30 Mar 2008
Played on Xbox360
Back in December I was harsh to Guitar Hero III, but with good reason. By the time I was trying to write down my thoughts on Guitar Hero I had already started playing Rock Band. And Rock Band blows Guitar Hero out of the water.
Let me put it this way. There’s actually a PS2 version of Rock Band. It has the core gameplay, but lacks the online multiplayer, deep character customization, world tour mode, and downloadable content. You know what that sounds like to me? Guitar Hero… but with more instruments. I’m sure it’s still plenty of fun (and I’m glad that a similar version is making its way to the Wii), but that feature set really impressed upon me how far ahead Rock Band really is.
The full Rock Band kit costs a pretty penny, it’s true. But I think that even if you were only to play Rock Band with a guitar it’d still be a better value than Guitar Hero. The tracks aren’t all guitar showpieces, and the upper echelon of difficulty isn’t as ridiculous as Guitar Hero III. But the things surrounding the core guitar gameplay are way better. Your character may not be as flamboyant as the premades in Guitar Hero III, but you’ll have a deeper connection with them through your fine level personal touches. The stages may not be as grandiose as Guitar Hero’s, but the band members move more believably and the action is shot in a way that actually responds to the music. The fretwork may be less furious, but that’s because you’re not barraged with awful metal songs. Songs in Rock Band are better on average because they have to be well rounded in order to be enjoyed by a group. And if you don’t like them, go hit up the weekly downloadable tracks and customize the track list to your liking. And if you do eventually tire of just playing the guitar, you can try out the vocal career with that headset that came with your Xbox. Even without getting the drums that’s still a ton more game for your $60.
I’m not sure why I’m so stuck on defensively comparing Rock Band to Guitar Hero. Guitar Hero is fun, and it’s awesome that it’s become a cultural phenomenon. I’ll still totally rent the Guitar Hero expansions that come out. But I’m pretty sure the Guitar Hero franchise is going nowhere.
Enough of my negativity… let’s talk Rock Band.
Rock Band is the ultimate party game. Because there are three different types of instruments, pretty much anyone can find something that appeals to them. Eventually you’ll get sick of strumming or whatever, but change up your instrument and it’s blue skies again. Add some DLC so that the song list doesn’t get repetitive and you’ve got hours and hours of fun.
I do wish there was a better way to teach people on the fly, because in a party setting you’ll get people rotating in that need some hand holding before they can survive on easy. If they take down the band they’ll get frustrated and/or embarrassed and quit. The game needs a “Don’t boo off my aunt” setting. Or some sort of mode that shows “here’s what you did, and here’s what you were supposed to be doing…”
You can go all night just playing song after song, but there’s also a World Tour story mode. In it you go around world playing gigs to earn fans, fame, and money. It’s a cool idea, and it was really fun at first. But after a while you get stuck with lots of lengthy gigs and songs you don’t want to play. If there were shorter set lists or more customization options this would be a great party mode with a sense of progress.
Something I really appreciate about Rock Band is that it’s reasonable about achievements and unlockables. I jumped right into Expert guitar in the solo mode but got stuck on the very last song (which is fun right until it gets completely obnoxious at 90%). Were this Guitar Hero, I’d be screwed and have to start over from the beginning on Hard. But in Rock Band I was able to drop the difficulty and finish off just that tier, which gave me credit for Hard, Medium, and Easy. Thank you Rock Band, for not being a dick.
Now that they’ve patched in an integrated music store, I’m not sure what more I want from Rock Band. I’d like to see the World Tour mode go online and get more variety. And of course more songs is always nice, but I’m pretty happy with the steady flow of a la carte tracks. A free play mode on drums would be fun. I also wouldn’t mind a return of some of the stats added in Guitar Hero 2, where you could see what parts you needed to work on. But overall I’m totally content. I’ve been playing Rock Band pretty steadily for the last four months and I’m nowhere near bored with it.
Rock Band will change how you listen to music (so will playing an instrument, but Rock Band is much more accessible). You’ll find yourself listening to the different parts of a song and thinking about how awesome it would be to play. Your idly drumming fingers will develop form and purpose. You’ll love some songs you used to hate and hate some songs you used to love. You’ll sign internet petitions to get The Darkness added to the DLC. You’ll wonder when the manager of Led Zeppelin’s digital content will get their head out of their ass. You’ll wear eye liner to work and tell people that you’re in a band. You’ll start snorting lines of coke off of hookers and… okay, maybe not all of that will happen. Your mileage may vary. But it’s a damned fine game, no doubt.
30 Mar 2008
I’d like to say that monster movies traditionally had a sophisticated sense of suspense and restraint, and that the modern CG movie has ruined that. But let’s be honest, monster movies have always been extremely dependent on special effects (even before the computer got involved), and they’ve always been about as sophisticated as a steaming pile of poo. However I do think that modern moviemaking technology has led to showing off the monsters too often and too early. The movie makers are no longer worried about you noticing that it’s just a Dude In A Suit, so they justify ramming their overly glossy 3D animation down your throat.
Enter Cloverfield, modern monster movie brought to us by Lost’s J. J. Abrams. And you know what? It’s good.
The twist to Cloverfield is that the entire film is experienced through a camcorder held by one of the characters. As a viewer you’re never yanked from that single storyline. And, more importantly, you’re never granted a viewpoint beyond what the characters would experience. It’s very immersive, if sometimes a bit nauseating due to the shaky camera work. The result is that the moments when the monster is obscured seem contextually appropriate. It’s the result of panicked amateur camerawork, not an arbitrary restriction in an otherwise cinematic wide-angle production.
Cloverfield has all the ingredients of a good monster flick: a cool monster, lots of mystery and suspense, and key characters dying left and right. Which is important, because as far as I’m concerned It’s just not a real monster movie if everyone survives intact. Seriously, no happy endings allowed. I’ll accept bittersweet, like when the survivors struggle between feelings of both victory and loss. That’s fine. But if the entire cast is all alive and well (covered in soot, grime, and blood, of course), then that’s just not good enough. I demand a sacrifice!